Wednesday, August 24, 2011

This is Crack

No, this is not a Pee-Wee Herman Bit.

Oookay, long story, Will try to pace it. One of my distant Cousin's was Murdered last Sunday, and the funeral was today. Which meant Road Trip to Indiana. As I like my primary form of self-entertainment in car trips where I'm not driving to be text-based, I had saved some of my author alerts for times when I had nothing better to do but read things that weren't high-interest priority.
Shut up. Good Fanfiction does exist. It's just rare.
Aaaaaanyways a little story from an author I've followed for a several years, Shadow Crystal Mage, popped up and I was in a crossover mood.
It was a Crossover between Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha and the DC universe, along with a Crapload of Magical Girl Anime. Including Sailor Moon, Negima, And CCS.

Let that sink in a moment.

Okay, back story time. SCM has done megacrosses before. It's kind of her thing--She can do them in such a way that their either plausible, or their so insane you ignore the irrationality of it and go with the flow. (I blame the Gurren Lagann Precedent.) She has previously Fused Raven With Harry Potter and sent said Male Raven loose on the Fused HP/DCAU continuum, to hilarious effect. Specifically, calling a Truce between the Titans (Who have Terra in place of Raven in that group, yay Terra fans) and Harley, Ivy, and the TTAS variant of Doctor Light--Who now live with them.
OH and there was a demon invasion somewhere that involved Trigon or something.
Harry Potter's stint as a Cardcaptor is still ongoing, but plotbunnies took her elsewhere. Then there's Raikiri Triken, where The-boy-Whose-late-book-plotholes-made-the-series-suck is possessed by Three Great swordsmen of Rurouni Kenshin while Tracking down snakeface, and ends up spreading similar possessive and magical artifacts across the elemental countries. Again, Hilarity ensues. Team seven gets a dose of two Demon Dog fangs along with a reincarnated card captor, Hinata Goes King of Games (complete with Leather Pants, an Ecchi Atem, and fully manifesting DMG for...Fun with Uzumaki's) and...Well, one tries to Forget Ino, Female Neji and Tenten Saotome. Uzumaki Harry is pretty much what is says on the tin.
What Else is on her Resume of Crazy? Negi Springfield tutored by Barney Stinson. Harry Potter taking the Lina Inverse Route of Dark Lord Removal. An Inversion of Magic-prevalent series Males. Detective Akane Tendo. Uchiha Sasuke producing a MUSICAL about how he will kill his brother as a form of Therapy--And yes, that did need to be capitalized.
And Yet This, THIS is what finally Made me determine that she is a Batshit Insane Genius. And I'm not even finished with the Story yet.

Also: Yes, all this backstory was necessary for context. Onto the actual story that made me have this revelation.

Essentially, Abin Sur uses the wrong Keywords to search out his successor Green Lantern, and Gets a Nine-Year-old pre-series-events Nanoha Takamichi instead of Hal Jordan. Who proceeds to own Sinestro, before being sent off To Green langern Boot Camp, and afterwards Yuuno Shows up.
Imagine the Magical Girl who reinvented Beam Spam with an Item whose only limits are it's Battery life, the Will of It's user, and the Imagination of it's bearer, along with her normal armaments.
I can here some of your spirits breaking.
I should also note that the DC side of the crossover draws heavily from the DCAU continuity, with aspects taken from the most recent comic continuity for certain technobabble and Green Lantern capabilities.
She then proceeds to make friendly with every Japan-based magical girl and superhero team--Which becomes relevant in the Book of Darkness Arc, causing the formation of the "United Magical Girls Association of Japan"--And ends up having Superman as a Mentor figure.
Loli Jokes were made.
To not spoil the entire story, I shall now list a number of aspects later chapters entertain:
Paperwork-obsessive Nanoha!
New Craters on Oa!
Competent Tuxedo Mask!
Negi Springfield Forced to dress in Drag, then gets revenge on class.
Scary Evangeline.
Mercenary Hiring Tomoyo Daidouji, Pope of the First Church of Sakura Kinimoto.
Ring Construct SuperTrain Megazord.
1500% minimum improvement to Raiging Heart.
Superman injured by Child wielding Magical Mallet.
Ecchi Hayate.
The Springfield Charm Affecting Anime's most notorious Official Lesbian Magical Girls.
Suiting up.
TVTropes not only regularly referenced, but turned into a pseudo show-within-a-show.
Excessive creation of Secret Identities.
Princess Bride References!
Yuuno, the Librarian God.

And now, Quotes:
"Hey, where do you want this lampshade?" someone asked someone else at another table.
"Just hang it anywhere," his friend told him.
"Earth. It's a tough neighborhood," Yuuno said apologetically. "I recommend big guns, heavy spells and power suits."
"WHAT IS IT, 2814.2?-!"
"What's a 'poozer'…?"
Investigate Mahora Academy….
Another chill ran through him.
"All right, message received, intuition says don't go near the place,"
"Remember the olden days when we first fought these things?" Sailor Venus said.
"Sailor Moon's skirt was still blue," Sailor Mercury recalled, looking down at her own skirt.
"No funky shoulder pads for anyone," Sailor Jupiter added. "Just Those accordion things."
"Moon's attacks were less embarrassing to be around…" Sailor Mars sighed wistfully.

There was a brief pause. Don't you mean 'Gojira', Vita-chan? Shamal asked.
NO, IT'S THE AMERICAN ONE, GODZILLA, THE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE A T-REX FROM HELL! Vita cried. AHH! HOT HOT HOT! Oh now, what? Why is it turning into a… giant marshmallow man?
Don't cross the streams, Shamal advised. If it asks if you're a god, say 'yes'.
Shut up, blondie. AH! GOOP! THAT IS SO GROSS!
Is there something strange in your neighborhood? Shamal chirped. Who ya gonna call?
Shamal, Signum's voice said with tried patience. Just shut off the Hayate-damned barrier, will you?
And do so quickly for Vita's peace of min– HOLY HAYATE, THAT THING IS HUGE!
Setsuna blinked. "Why does your ring sound like a boy as voiced by Tara Strong?" she said.
Arf didn't bother with banter or introductions, charging forward violently as if this was just the continuation of their last fight. "Renamon KICK!"
Zafira dodged. "Quick Attack!"
"Spinning Bird Kick!"
"Dolphin Blow!"
"Hey, no fair! Is this because I said you had crazy hot legs and cute fangs? Because I really didn't mean to say that out loud!"
"No one's going anywhere 'til that tree is taken care of!" Evangeline cried from where she'd shuffled to the deck, back in her bathrobe, with more ice on her head. Her eyes locked on to Green Lantern's, who froze. "You. Fix this. Now."
Green Lantern saluted. "Yes Evangeline-sama! Please don't eat me, Evangeline-sama!"
Evangeline rolled her eyes as the others boggled. "Do it quickly and you still might be able to do… whatever it is you superheroes are in a hurry to do."
"Yes, Evangeline-sama!"
"Ma'am, do we really have time to–"
Evangeline glared. Ring-chan had time to think 'PARALLAX!' before it's newly developing personality went to find a hole to hide in…
So...TL;DR Version: I have too much time on my hands when riding in a car, Crack fics can lead to Hilarity even on the most depressing of days, and Read stuff written by this Insane Genius of a woman!

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